Dear World,

Have you ever stopped and thought about how much time we waste? I mean, honestly, people spend so much time accomplishing nothing when they could instead be doing something productive, like becoming a Rubiks cube master, or mass-producing chocolate-covered almonds for the starving children of East New Guinea.

Take for instance the image shown above. That was made using a Facebook application called Graffiti. Ever heard of it? It's something like the Microsoft program Paint, only you take away all the tools except the round brush.

Can you even comprehend how ridiculously long it would take to create such a thing using a round brush? It's ridiculous! It's preposterous! It's egregious! It's superfluous! It's weird..ous...!

(I fail at using befitting vocabulary.)

Another example of wasting time: me, right now. I got home from school about two hours ago, and I've got to leave for volleyball practice in about one. So how much homework have I done? None. Anna '13 for procrastination club president.

I just realized I've talked about how little I do homework in both entries of this blog. What a sad turn of events. Now my problem has reached not only my school and home life, but my blog life. I need rehab.

Okay.

Okay.

*exhale*

I can do this.

...Homework.

Wish me luck fair citizens, for I shall need it!

I haven't blogged in much too long. I've been going into blog withdrawal and spending my days curled up in a ball in the corner of a black-and-white photograph. Yeah. That's how intense it is.

Okay, that might possibly be a little bit of a lie. I've actually been doing a lot lately, including productive activities such as watching movies and attending volleyball tournaments. I highly recommend There's Something About Mary. And I am the ultimate judge of humor, so take this recommendation with much import.

Ugh. I can't function without my iPod... I'm such a technaholic. They say that a hero is only as good as his weapon - I am only as good as my iPod, laptop, and cellphone. Continuing with the random hero metaphor, I'm going to apply my situation to that of the hero in a Greek tragedy. How epic am I?

Anyway... you might be wondering about why I don't have my iPod (you know you are - don't deny it!). It's because today at my volleyball tournament, someone else took it home because I have the exact same iPod as everyone - fourth generation purple nano. Yeah. I bet you have it too. Because everyone does. I think I'm going to paint mine with puffy paint to give it a little flavor.

Does anyone but me in the entire world listen to Eve 6? I think I might be the only one, ever. No one I ask has ever heard of them, which is ridiculous... I sort of thought they were popular. Interesting. Anyway, I especially like this one song of theirs, On the Roof Again. I learned two new words listening to that song - copasetic and hymen - only one of which is even remotely dirty. Listen to the song, and look up the words; your magnificent vocabulary will expand, right before your very eyes! *Launches into merry music-accompanied schpeal about how it only costs $19.99 and if you order now you can get a free toaster.*

You know, "schpeal" isn't a word. But I use it all the time... it's actually semi-absurd. I have way too many words like that - words that aren't real, but that I use anyway.

So, um... mazel tov, crazystairs.

I am a very healthy person, thank you.

However, when I do get sick, it is at the absolute most inopportune time possible. Seriously, the most. It's irritating. Don't believe me? Check out my superfun bulleted list of examples. (And I mean, c'mon, who can distrust a superfun bulleted list of examples?)

• August 1999. I get sick and miss the first day of Kingergarten. As a result, I freak out and think everyone's going to hate me and have one friend until third grade.
  

• April 2001. I start to see double, so I tell me mom, who takes me to the eye doctor, who tells her I have a brain tumor and to get to the hospital. On Easter weekend. I throw up on my new Easter dress, but I get to live. (That was the trade-off, I've decided.)

• September 2008. First day of high school. I sleep through my first class, and go on to make everyone think I'm a total jerk by just sitting down by a tree while my group builds the tower without me in our fun-first-day-of-school-bonding-activity. I get the prize for their efforts, then head to the nurse's office. I miss the first week of school.

See? Point proven.

I haven't posted in quite a while. For that, I apologize. This entry has actually been sitting in the "entries in progress" bin for about a week; in the original post, I described each of the above situations in enormous, totally unnecessary detail (mostly the second bullet actually). Entry Version 2.0 will be less mind-blowingly boring, less mind-blowingly boringly long, and will less mind-blowingly boringly longly tell more things. (My ability to paint words is amazing, no?)

Anyway. This weekend is spring formal. I've been enlightened by almost every upperclassman friend I have that it's boring, but oddly, I want to go anyway...

I have no stories to tell at the moment. There are probably plenty I could tell, but none that I feel are necessary right about now. So you'll just have to wait for after Saturday. (I know, the suspense is killing you... sorry about that, it's a serial killer. We're thinking it has severe mental problems).